If your head is a highway
Imagine: you are a (young) professional. Your inbox is an endless stream, your agenda resembles expert-level Tetris, and even your free time feels like a to-do list (“relax” is literally what it says). Sound familiar? Then this blog is for you. Because if “being on” is your default mode, then it’s time to take a moment to pause. Or at least to take a break. Because spoiler: your body keeps score, even when you think you have everything under control.
Stress is not just in your head (unfortunately)
Those stiff shoulders, that rushed feeling, or that moment when you suddenly feel nothing except the urge to scroll until your thumb falls off? Those are not random ailments. That’s your nervous system saying: “Hello? A bit too much stimulation here!” According to Stephen Porges’ polyvagal theory (yes, you can forget that name, unless you want to impress at a party), our nervous system is smarter than we think. It constantly scans whether we are safe or in danger. And it does this without asking your permission.
The Three Modes of Your Nervous System (No, There’s No “Netflix & Chill” Mode)
Ventral Vagal Mode – You feel chill, connected, your breathing is smooth, your face relaxed. This is the “I’ve got my life together” mode.
Sympathetic Activation – Your body thinks, “Run! Or fight!” Your heart rate increases, your breathing quickens. You’re alert, but also easily overstimulated.
Dorsal Vagal Mode – When everything gets too much, you withdraw. You feel flat, tired, or like you’re on autopilot.
And no, you don’t have to do anything “wrong” to end up in one of these stress modes. Your nervous system is just doing its thing. Convenient, but sometimes a little dramatic.
Young professionals & chronic stress: a match made in... burnout?
You work hard, exercise (or feel guilty about not doing so), try to be social and keep up with your LinkedIn as if your life depends on it. Meanwhile, your body thinks: "When can I take a break?" Chronic stress causes your system to remain stuck in the on position or in the off position. And that can manifest itself as follows:
You sleep badly or worry yourself to sleep (nice, that 03:00 AM existential crisis). You quickly feel overstimulated or numb.
You have vague complaints that even Google can't deal with.
You sometimes feel like a robot with an empty battery.
How do you reset that overactive nervous system?
Good news: your nervous system is trainable. Just like your biceps, but more subtle. Here are a few hacks that really work:
Breathe like a Zen master. Slow exhalations (e.g. 4 counts in, 6 counts out) activate your vagus nerve. Sounds fancy, but it’s basically your inner chill button.
Seek co-regulation (a.k.a. people who don’t wear you out). A warm look, a hug, a good conversation—your nervous system loves it. Seriously, even a cat on your lap counts.
Move, but not like a maniac. No HIIT necessary. Think walking, dancing in your living room, or a little swaying (yes, really). Rhythm = calm.
Sensory safety. Your body responds to smell, touch, and sound. Think: a warm shower, your favorite sweater, a scent that reminds you of vacation. Little things, big impact.
Why Relaxing Sometimes Feels Stressful
Maybe you’ve experienced this: you finally start meditating and… BAM, panic. Or you try to relax and feel restless. That’s your nervous system thinking: “Wait, this feels suspiciously calm. Where’s the threat?” This is called the safety paradox. When your system is used to stress, rest feels like unfamiliar territory. And unfamiliar = potential danger. (Yes, your nervous system is a bit paranoid.) So: start small. A warm hand. A calm breath. A smell you like. You don’t have to crawl into a zen cocoon right away. Baby steps.
Reflection: Your Body as an Ally
What if you no longer see your body as something that “opposes” you, but as a compass that shows you the way? What if that fatigue, that tension, that restlessness… are actually signals that you need something?
Mini-question for you: When do you notice that you’re in overdrive? And what helps you to land again?
Do you want to not only read but also experience these kinds of insights? Then consider a 3-day expedition in nature. No wifi, no deadlines – just you, your body, and a lot of fresh air. Click here for the brochure.
Citation:
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Porges, S. W. (2022). Polyvagal theory: A science of safety. Frontiers in integrative neuroscience, 16, 871227.
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